Still Here: Loving Alex After Loss

I didn’t plan to write this as a series. I didn’t plan to write it at all honestly.

But grief doesn’t stay contained. It leaks into ordinary days. It shows up in kitchens, in songs on the radio, in insurance envelopes, in the quiet moments when the house feels too big and too silent. It shows up in my training, in my sleep, in the way I still look over to Alex’s bed like part of me expects him to be there.

This series is me trying to tell the truth about what it’s like to lose a child and keep living anyway. To carry love and regret at the same time. To sit with self-blame, to question everything, and still keep moving forward.

Some posts are memories. Some are confessions. Some are the moments I didn’t know how to say out loud until now.

I’m not writing this for attention. I’m writing it because Alex mattered. Because Jason matters. Because I’m still here.

And because I know I’m not the only one learning how to breathe again.